: Buffy the Vampire Slayer: Season 2, Episode 11: “Ted” (airdate: Monday, December 8, 1997): Part 2 of 3

15:01 – 30:00 Previously on \m/15-Minute Hellmouth\m/ . . . Part 1 & Part 3 Joyce Summers, the mother of the one girl (possibly two girls) who stands alone (or possibly beside another) against the forces of darkness, finally has a boyfriend, and he is none other than John Ritter, although he prefers to be […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek III: The Search for Spock — Ch. 5: Extreme Late-Term Abortion (Or: Saavik is All Vulcan)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 The 15-Minute Federation docked at Starbase 1234, and we were finally able to take some well-deserved shore leave. The base is governed by the benevolent duo known as Dave & Buster, known throughout the galaxy for their old-school video games and free-flowing beer taps. Captain James C. Firewater also had a secret […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 5: KHAAAAAANNN!! (Or: Chekov as the Manchurian Candidate)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 We could tell it was going to be a whimsical duty shift on the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation because comical oboe music was playing over the ceiling speakers and our alien guest stars were all speaking in exaggerated Irish brogues. On the orders of Captain James C. Firewater, Commander Spork had […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 4: Taken Down by a Prefix Code (Or: Kirk Continues to Fail Upwards)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Lt. DiAngelo, the chief geologist on board the 15-Minute Federation (who’s never been seen by anyone before this fateful day), went on his first away mission with our Holy Trinity: Captain Firewater, Commander Spork and Dr. “Ribcage” Macklemore. He was killed just moments after the landing party materialized on the planet Pepp-Boyz […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 3: Kirk Deals with an Angry Ex (Or: The Needs of the Many Outweigh the Needs of the Crew)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 Nurse Transept has lodged a formal complaint because, other than the occasional pretty yeoman who briefly joins the crew, she is the only female on board the 15-Minute Federation. She says that this has led to a hostile work environment, and that she is forced to do double-duty as the voice of […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan — Chapter 2: Chekov’s Terrarium (Or: Lt. Saavik’s Deviated Septum)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 During the mission to Homeus Depotus VI, Commander Spork pricked his finger on a thorn of a rose bush in the planet’s garden center. It was one of those flowers that proliferate in the Trek Universe, and Dr. “Ribcage” Macklemore says the thorn prick will either kill Spork or else take over […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 6: Why Do V’Ger Probes Take Showers? (Or: Reducing Carbon-Based Units to Data Patterns)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 Commander Spork just suggested that we slingshot around the McDonald’s on the corner and go back in time just long enough to take advantage of the breakfast menu. Lt. Hulu, who serves as both our helmsman and main source for pirated episodes of Castle Rock, reminds Spork that some of the breakfast […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 5: An Over-Abundance of Reaction Shots is an Unwarranted Gamble (Or: We Get Probed by Aliens!)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 Lionel Smith was made Chief Engineer on our crew because Captain James “Claudius” Firewater insists that “Smith” is a proper Scottish name, and we just had to have a Scot as Chief Engineer because that was the template created by Montgomery Scott. Never mind the fact that Lionel insists that 95.6% […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 4: Hey, Look Who’s Back, Y’all! (Oh, Spoilers . . .Spock Joins the Party and He’s a Pooper)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 Captain James “Claudius” Firewater briefly called a red alert earlier today when Communications Officer Lt. O’Hara (who got the job because his name most closely resembled Uhura’s) spilled his pumpkin spice latte on the communications station board. There were a few sparks and O’Hara dropped the stainless steel honey spoon he keeps […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 3: The Bald Lady and the Wormhole (Or: Belay That Phaser Order! Arm Photon Torpedoes!)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 Chapter 3 of The Motion Picture Edition of the 15-Minute Federation begins with the Epsilon IX listening post being assimilated by the Borg . . . Wait. Wrong era. The listening post is being wiped out of existence by the Seeing Eye cloud, which has a diameter roughly the size of our […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 2: Decker Gets Demoted (Or: Dr. McCoy Was Right About Transporters All Along)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 As we begin our next chapter of The Motion Picture Edition of the 15-Minute Federation, we join Admiral James T. Kirk in his gray-and-white uniform. He’s looking fit and trim, with the pointy sideburns, as he steps out of an air tram into Starfleet HQ. He runs into Lt. Commander Sonak, a […]

//\\ 15-Minute Federation //\\ presents . . . Star Trek: The Motion Picture — Chapter 1 : Seeing Eye Clouds and Failed Kolinahr Tests (Or: Easing Back Into Federation Space)

00:00:00 – 00:15:00 Hear the sound of the bosun’s pipes as you exit the turbolift and step onto the bridge of the 15-Minute Federation. We welcome you to a new project under the 15-Minute proprietary banner. This one will encompass all of the Star Trek movies, from those featuring the cast of the original series, […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Nine: The Battle of Crait (Or: The Rebirth of the Rebellion)

02:00:01 – End This is it, the final chapter of The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force. Incidentally, it’ll be the last edition of the 15-Minute Force for a long while. Our in-depth dissection and discussion about Star Wars will be going on hiatus for a bit, at least until after the final installment […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Eight: What’s Black & White & Red All Over? (Or: Do You Think Leia Shops at “Crait & Barrel”?)

01:45:01 – 02:00:00 Welcome to the penultimate chapter of The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force. I can hear what you’re saying. “Penultimate?!? I thought this movie was about over!” I hear, and I understand. Sure, all the best laid plans of Act Two have gone awry. Luke Skywalker hasn’t returned with Rey to […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Seven: Act Two May Have Been a Colossal Waste of Time (Or: Things Fall Apart, The Center Cannot Holdo)

01:30:01 – 01:45:00 Here we are with a whole lot of Act Three stuff zipping around us like Matrix bullets. We’re done with training montages and Ahch-To (mostly), and Canto Bight is now a distant memory from a James Bond flick. We are back in the meat of the story as we begin the seventh […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Six: From Ahch-To to Act Three (Or: Luke and Rey Duke It Out When Luke Takes Away Her Phone Privileges)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 Welcome back to the next chapter of The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force. In our previous chapter, Finn and Rose managed to escape from Canto Bight with the assistance of the slicer DJ (Benicio del Toro in another dialogue mangling role). We can safely assume that they are returning to […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Five: The Stuttering Codebreaker (Or: The Night Ben Solo Flipped Out, Told Rashomon-Style)

01:00:01 – 01:15:00 We begin Chapter Five of The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force wishing we could wash the taste of the previous chapter out of our mouths. I don’t hate this movie. I feel it’s important to say that again. I didn’t love it the way I did The Force Awakens, but […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Four: Training Montages Belong in ’80s Movies (Or: A Side Trip to Canto Bight)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 This chapter of The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force starts with Rey and Kylo Ren making a long-distance connection via the Force. These two are connected now, somehow, maybe because they each probed the other’s mind. Kylo says, “You’ll bring Luke Skywalker to me.” Then he goes on to say […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Three: A Rose is a Rose is a Rose (Or: New Plans, an Unexpected Conspiracy, and Roasted Porg)

00:30:01 – 00:45:00 As this chapter of The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force begins, we are treated to a tender Mother and Son moment. Kylo Ren, still stinging from Supreme Leader Snoke’s virulent rebuke, is lining up for a bombing run on the bridge of the Raddus, the flagship of the Resistance. Suddenly, […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Two: Kylo Ren Unmasked (OR: Luke Skywalker, Curmudgeon)

00:15:01 – 00:30:00 It may be too late in the game to explain the premise of this blog series, but just in case there is any confusion while reading this installment of The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force, and I’m imagining that someone has just dropped in to read this particular article without […]

Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter One: Another Abandoned Base (Or: Now Calling It The RESISTANCE Makes More Sense)

00:00:00 – 00:15:00 Welcome to The Last Jedi Edition of the 15-Minute Force. Those of us here in the bullpen at the studios are excited to begin the second installment of the Star Wars sequel trilogy in anticipation of the next movie that releases in December 2019 (since that’s more than a year from when […]

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Eight: A Father and Son Reunion Rivaling Oedipus’s (Or: Kylo Ren Gets Beaten Up By a Girl . . .Oh, Spoilers)

01:45:01 – THE END As the final chapter of the Awakens Edition of the 15-Minute Force begins Han sees Kylo Ren enter the thermal oscillator. He follows him down a long walkway and shouts, “Ben!” Because, you see, that was Kylo Ren’s birth name: Ben Solo. Kylo responds to his father’s voice: “Han Solo. I’ve […]

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Seven: The Battle of the Thermal Oscillator Begins! (Or: The Dramatic Chronometer Counts Down)

01:30:01 – 01:45:00 As we ended our last chapter of the Awakens Edition of the 15-Minute Force, Rey and Kylo Ren had both just learned that Rey is, indeed, strong in the Force. Kylo, who apparently inherited all of his whiny-ass emo genes from Annakin Skywalker (the Hayden Christensen version, not David Prowse or James […]

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Six: Reunited and It Feels So Good (Or: D’Qar and Driver)

01:15:01 – 01:30:00 “You, OK, Big Deal?” That’s the question Han Solo asks former First Order Stormtrooper Finn Wilson as this chapter begins. Han just saved Finn from being killed by the melee-weapon bearing opponent that the Interwebs calls TR-8R. This chapter of the Awakens Edition of the 15-Minute Force begins with things already in […]

Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (a 15-Minute Force production): Chapter Four: Whoa! How Many Hit Points on Those D&D Demons? (Or: Can’t We Slow Things Down with a Cantina Scene?)

00:45:01 – 01:00:00 By the way, Han Solo’s new freighter is named the Eravana. I didn’t mention that before because I don’t recall hearing that during the movie. It was on Wookieepedia, though. Everything is. Those of us who toil in the windowless sweatshop that is the 15-Minute Force studio count on the ‘pedia for […]

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