To age myself a little bit, my first ever videogame was Pac-Man on the Atari game system. I remember that square controller with the stick coming out from the center and thought this thing is impressive. We have come a long way since that gaming platform.
We love to see the retro games making a comeback. I have seen games like Pac-Man and Galaga in places and just brings back great memories when I was young and no responsibilities.
I try to get our son to play those games, and he wants nothing to do with them. I guess there just isn’t enough action for his liking. I guess when you go from Roblox to Pac-Man, it’s understandable.
I try to have a “boys’ night out” at least once a week with our son. I think it is very important to have that time with just the two of us. Let’s be honest, I cannot compete with the bond he has with mom. yes, we are father and son and he has my name, but a mother’s bond is so much stronger. It’s imperative that dad’s get that bonding time as much as possible. We may not speak much, mostly because he has his face buried in his phone but just being that close to each other is more than enough. We do strike up conversations about school or his friend or whatever.
We all know there will be a time when this young man starts to have questions and doesn’t feel like he anyone to turn to. That’s where dad’s show up or at least are supposed to. All too often we get caught up in “life” and forget the things that truly matter. If there is one thing that I get accomplished in my short time on this earth, is that I will make my son into a man. Not just any man, but one who treats others with respect, chivalrous, kind and humble. He possesses those traits already but needs reminded every now and then. The internet gets too much of his attention and we have to reset.
Our recent trip to Buffalo Wild Wings (picture above) was long overdue. I have been so caught up with work and soccer, that we have not had much time for just the two of us. I think I needed that time more than he did. When I get to the point of near exhaustion, I tend to take that out on my loved ones. My son gets some of that frustration partly because he is twelve years old and that’s what kids that age do, but also partly because level of tolerance is all but disappeared and it is not his fault.
Not sure who these people are, but it just so happened we went to B-Dubs on kids’ night and look who showed up.
I see it all too often that kids need more quality time with dad (hopefully dad is around). Boy’s or girl’s, dad still needs to be present. Call me too traditional, I really don’t care, but mom did plenty in just carrying and giving birth (don’t forget the diaper changing phase). It’s time for dad to step and be a part of the growing up process. Maybe if there was a more positive influence from dad’s, we might have a society that is more empathetic and respectful, humble and chivalrous, kind and loving.
A topic that can be discussed 10 different ways by 100 different people. I have always thought that a good person is someone who goes to church, volunteers at shelters, feeds the homeless, etc. Only to find out how far from the truth that could be.
A good person is someone who is true to themselves and others. A good person is someone who feels compassion and empathy and acts upon those emotions to bring a smile or laugh to brighten someone’s day. Spark up a conversation with stranger that you know it going through a difficult chapter in life. A good person would take the empty shopping cart from someone who just finished putting their groceries in their car and return it to the cart corral without expecting a pat on the back.
One statement I remember from my mother is that good people go to Hell. Let that sink in. Just because you think you are good does not give you that ticket into heaven. It takes a lot more than going to church every day and working at the local food bank.
I played all the way up through high school and also in an indoor league for a season. Soccer is such a great sport. It teaches you fitness, agility, teamwork, etc. Our son played and I coached for 3 or 4 years until he grew bored with it. We didn’t force the issue knowing all too well that would not help his lack of desire to play. However, I did enjoy those days and will cherish them forever.
The best part about coaching at that age is knowing I could have a positive influence on those kids. Yes, I am dad to our son, but I also felt like a dad figure to all of the boys on the team. We had some real fun times, especially when we had a practice in a hailstorm. It didn’t last long, but long enough to say we practiced in a hailstorm. The kids didn’t know what to think and all I heard was “ouch, ouch”. So, I gave my normal medical advice and offered to rub some dirt on it. That usually did not work and eventually they would forget about the pain and move on.
I was able to watch some of these boys grow for several years and know that I had a positive influence on at least some of them. It was always nice to hear them call me coach even when they were on a different team for that season. Now that I have moved out of state, I hope they do grow into fine young men.
Those soccer seasons I coached spurred my interest in refereeing and I have been doing that for the past 5 years. I officiate club and high school soccer and it has been rewarding and frustrating equally. I do enjoy most of the interactions I have had with the kids. I always try to keep positive with them and if their team is getting blown away. Nothing worse than having a coach yelling the entire game while being down by an insurmountable number of goals all the while some official taking out his frustrations on you too.
The best part about officiating is that when the game is over, I go home and forget about it. Coaching is an ever-evolving task even at the youth level. I couldn’t image what a coach for a traveling team goes through let alone a coach for college or professional team. For me at the level I officiate, it is all about the kids as it should be. I can ignore the spectators (for the most part) and even the coaches (occasionally). The coaches I can give a yellow card to and they usually quiet down. Take the kids out of the equation and there is nothing there for me.
At some point, we all need to realize sports need to be about the kids; not the coach or parents. Kids need to be kids and find themselves. Don’t pressure them to be the best at every single thing they do. There is nothing wrong with excelling at things but let them find that on their own. We all want to see our children succeed, so let them. Keep our own influences and biases out of the mix and see how they blossom.
I don’t know how much this advice would have saved, but it is still good advice for the younger generations. I just couldn’t wait to grow up and be an adult. I would be my own boss, make my own decisions and life would be so much better. That couldn’t have been further from the truth. I do like to make my own decisions and like to be in control, but that does not come without consequences. At least when I was an adolescent I could usually get away with it.
My wife and I talk frequently about how much fun we had before “growing up”. We didn’t anywhere near the responsibilities associated with adulting. The biggest responsibility we could think of was to be home before the streetlights came on. Even then we had some leeway as long as we were in our own neighborhood. Clean our room, go to school, take a bath and that was basically it. Obviously the older we got the more responsibilities we took on like trying to save money to go out on the weekends or in my case working on the weekends to put gas in the car to go out on weekends.
We are trying to instill this desire in growing up too fast to our son now. Take the time to be a kid, enjoy not have to own these responsibilities because it will come sooner than expected. When it finally does come, learn to appreciate those days of playing till dark; listening to the neighborhood parents (if you know, you know); sleeping in until whenever.
Definitely one of the weirdest movies I have seen is From Dusk Til Dawn by Quentin Tarantino. It has some great actors in it, but it was just strange. Most of his movies are strange so it’s no surprise with this one.
I have been married for 27 years, and we have been together 31. I knew I always wanted children. Never a question. We are supposed to plant seeds and multiply. My wife was of the same mind. She was always wanting to be called Mommy. I was looking for someone to call junior and teach him how to be a man and what it means to be a man.
We never not tried to have kids. It was never a discussion about taking precautions to prevent us from having children. We had a missionary couple that had visited out church one time that prayed for us. They told us we would have children some time, but it would be in God’s time. That glimmer of hope is what kept us growing with anticipation.
The only problem was actually being able to conceive a child. We went as far as going to a fertility clinic just to make sure nothing was medically wrong with either one of us; only to find out there was nothing uncovered except for my wife’s “kooky ovaries”. I am not a doctor, but I am almost certain that is not an actual medical diagnosis. So back to be being patient and waiting for His time.
There were many occasions where we thought this might be the time. My wife would miss for a couple months and then take a test only to see the fail sign on the stick. I felt like I was denied a new car loan or something each time. The anticipation builds and builds just to have the balloon popped without remorse. We just kept telling ourselves, “This is the one, it has to be right”? How many false alarms could we possibly get since the only real issue was kooky ovaries.
One morning my wife wakes me from a deep sleep from working night shift the night before. Anyone who’s ever worked night shift can feel my pain. I try to force my eyelids open so I can look at this stick. Once I was able to focus, she shows me this stick but this time it looks a little different. It was positive!! “No way. You didn’t pee on it right. Take another test”. Sure enough the second test showed the same results, but we still had our doubts. At the time, it been 15 years since we started “trying”.
We make an appointment to see a doctor and to our complete and utter jubilation, they also confirmed we were going to have a child! Not only were we going to have a child, but we were going to have a child in two months. My wife was 7 months along before we confirmed 100%, she was with child. We had been going through a lot during that time period with both of our mothers. At one point, they were both in a hospital. We were constantly driving back and for and eating out more than we should. My wife thought the little extra weight she put on was from that and then she was always irregular. Not once did we consider the possibility of her being pregnant.
Wholly crap, now what. We decided to keep everything very traditional. Outside of my cousin who worked at the hospital where we were given the great news, we kept the list of people who knew very low. I think it was my brother and sister and her twin sister. We took her mom out to lunch to break the news and then went and visited my mom at the nursing home. The major announcement came at our church. We filled in our pastor because that is what is supposed to happen, and we set up a time to make the announcement at church. Great part about that, that my dad and stepmother were there who did not know yet. It was such a blessing to announce that at the church where many of the members knew of our situation and were just as elated as we were.
We never gave up hope that we would have a child someday. Mostly because we knew we would have children and then someone else confirmed we would. It is said many times over that things happen in His time, not ours. This is absolutely one of those occasions where that’s exactly what happened. We wanted kids and always did. For whatever reason (certainly not kooky ovaries), that wasn’t the time we were supposed to have them. In His time, we got the perfect child for us at the perfect time in our lives.
What I have not mentioned yet is that when our son was born, we believed God gave him to us at that time to fill the void in our hearts from my mother who passed just 4 months after his birth. She was able to meet him and hold him and love him for that short amount of time. We would visit her at the nursing home and she would just hold him and smile at him. You could see the love in her eyes for this little bundle. Mom may have been just as happy as were. Maybe happier.
Never give up. Never quit. Keep persevering but be patient. I know, easier said than done. Not it isn’t, I am not a patient man, and it gets worse the older I get, but I never give up hope on a brighter tomorrow. Make the most out of this short time we are given. If things to not turn out the way you expected or “hoped” for, maybe that’s not what was meant for you.
I do enjoy travelling and more importantly the driving experience. I have always been one to want to be in control behind the wheel. I guess that is just because I think it is in my nature to be the “protector” of the family.
The best way I have seen to meet new people is to first pick out someone who looks inviting. Let’s be honest, we all know there are people out there who just looks like they do not want bothered with and simply will not engage in a conversation unless it is tortured out.
However, I do like to engage those people who look miserable. Mostly because I don’t know their situation and maybe they just need someone to talk to. For all I know, they are travelling to deal with a tragedy, and a conversation could just help them to get to their destination safely.
Finding a common interest could spark a conversation with someone new. Waiting at a rest stop fast-food place for your name to be called could be a great opportunity to meet someone new while waiting impatiently to get back on the road.
The most underrated life skill is the ability to look someone in the eye while having a conversation. So many times, our minds are so busy, we tend to carry on multiple conversations in our minds right in the middle of conversation with someone else. It is truly refreshing to converse with someone knowing what is being said has meaning. This is done simply by feeling comfortable enough to look me in the eye.
