---

I often joke about Alanis Morissette’s hit 1995 song “Ironic” ruining irony for me. Forever.

Now that we’re approaching three decades since this song debuted on Morissette’s wonderful breakout album Jagged Little Pill, I’m not certain this joke lands with anyone under a certain age. Hell, I’m not sure it landed with people my own age. Such is the nature of jokes in the digital ether. If a joke finds its audience online, does the feedback make a sound? If no one “lol”s, did anyone laugh?

Maybe the joke just isn’t funny. Is that irony?

I’m going to break down the joke for you, if you’re not already in the know. The lyrics in the song, co-written with Glen Ballard, present various situations that are purported to be ironic.

You know how I am with lists. Here’s a list of the situations described in the lyrics.

A 98-year-old man wins the lottery and dies the next day.

A black fly in your Chardonnay.

A death row pardon received two minutes too late.

Rain on your wedding day.

A free ride when you’ve already paid.

Good advice that you just didn’t take.

A traffic jam when you’re already late.

A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break.

Ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife.

Meeting the man of your dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife.

All songwriting credits to Glen Ballard and Alanis, please.

In spite of everything you may have heard to the contrary, there is no single accepted definition of irony. This is sufficient cause to invoke Hodgson’s Law and give Alanis a pass on this, because many have gone public with the assertion that none of the items on this list is truly “ironic.”

In fact, Irish comedian Ed Byrne (not to be confused with Edd Byrnes, who would not lend me his comb) has said: “The only ironic thing about that song is it’s called ‘Ironic’ and it’s written by a woman who doesn’t know what irony is. That’s quite ironic.”

Other comedians and know-it-all bloggers—including this one—have dogpiled on this joke. Ha-ha, isn’t it funny how Alanis was being ironic by not including any examples of irony in her song lyrics?

The truth is, like Alanis, I don’t think I’ve ever understood what irony is. Through no fault of Ms. Morissette, I might add, although her song may have further muddied up what my previous understanding might have been.

At www.merriam-webster.com, the authors go to considerable length to clear up the confusion about irony that a mere definition seems incapable of clearing. They identify two formal uses of irony.

One is Socratic irony, which is a method of highlighting an opponent’s ignorance by pretending to be ignorant yourself and asking probing questions. The other is dramatic, or tragic, irony, in which there is an incongruity between the events of a staged drama and the dialogue of the characters; the audience sees the dissonance where the characters do not.

A third informal use of the word irony has been called situational irony. This type of irony includes what merriam-webster.com calls “a striking reversal of what is expected or intended.”

I think this is the type of irony that Morissette and Ballard were aiming at. The question remains whether the lyrical examples include a “striking reversal” or are just examples of coincidences.

Millie Dinsdale, at prowritingaid.com, identifies a fourth kind of irony—verbal irony—in which the speaker means the opposite of what they are saying. “The literal meaning is at odds with the intended meaning.”

Others have pointed out that I have a sarcastic sense of humor. Sarcasm is a form of verbal irony, in which a person uses words that mean the opposite of what they are really saying. Sarcasm differentiates itself from more innocuous forms of verbal irony because sarcastic comments are—again, according to merriam-webster.com—meant to insult people or inflict emotional pain.

Example: a wide receiver drops a football that was expertly arced into his hands, and when he returns to the huddle, the quarterback says, “Smooth move, Ex-Lax.” This is verbal irony because the quarterback doesn’t think it was a smooth move at all. It’s sarcasm because the comment was meant as an insult. It’s funny because Ex-Lax is a medicinal product to relieve constipation and make things move smoothly.

Can I be sarcastic at times? Eh . . . probably. I know that I appreciate sarcastic humor, especially edgy, dark humor. It stands to reason that I employ it as well. A quick wit and a sharp tongue are a dangerous combination. Thank God I’m slowing down with age.

So, all of this begs the question: Do the examples listed in the Alanis Morissette song “Ironic” actually fulfill the requirements of irony?

Not according to the formal definitions of irony. They’re also not examples of verbal irony since the narrator of the song doesn’t mean the opposite of what they’re saying. And they aren’t situational irony because they don’t represent a “striking reversal” from what is expected. I guess this is debatable. Most things are.

A black fly in your Chardonnay may be ironic if you just used the wine bottle to crush another fly that landed on the table. I think that’s irony. Like I said, I’ve been confused about irony for a long while.

What all the critics and comedian Ed Byrne conveniently disregard is that language is a living thing, constantly changing. I remember how hearing my granddaughters use the word “ratchet” to mean—I think— “wretched” would make my back teeth ache. I know this is a slang term, but that’s how new words, and new definitions for words, come to be. It’s why the word “nonplussed” has two definitions that mean the opposite things (plus, it’s an unpaired word because there’s no such word as “plussed” —not yet, at any rate).

It’s become more commonplace for the word “ironic” to be used to describe things that are merely unexpected or coincidental. Usage trumps word history.

All of which is my characteristically long-winded way of saying this:

Alanis was correct.

Isn’t that ironic?