Living for a little over four decades does not automatically qualify me to give life advice to anyone. If anything, it qualifies me to admit that I am still figuring things out. So perhaps we should leave the life advice to the so-called life coaches and NO, I do not approve of their profession or the work that they do.
You know the ones…people who have apparently decoded the mysteries of existence and are now generously willing to explain life to the rest of us, usually for a fee, because nothing says “I have found inner peace” quite like a UPI payment code ready to be scanned. Somewhere as a society, we decided that advice becomes more valuable when money changes hands. Apparently, if I give you advice for free, it’s just an opinion. If I charge you ₹4,999 for it, suddenly it’s a transformational life experience.
Time is money, after all and apparently, so is gyaan.
Personally, I am still perfectly capable of receiving advice. If someone has something worthwhile to share, I’ll listen, now whether I use it or not is another matter entirely – that is the beauty of advice I guess.
But here’s what I’ve realised, behind most advice, there is usually a story – A personal story. You aren’t merely telling someone, “Don’t trust people too easily.”, you’re probably unconsciously saying, “I trusted someone once, and look where that got me.”. You aren’t simply saying, “Never ignore the red flags.”, there’s probably a whole parade of red flags somewhere in your past. Now when someone says, “Don’t marry for the wrong reasons,” I’m immediately wondering what happened at that wedding.
People rarely just give advice, they package their experiences into little life lessons.
Sometimes, though, people don’t really want to narrate their life story, lets get real here: “Let me tell you about the worst relationship of my life” sounds like the beginning of a two-hour conversation we never asked to be part of. Now disguise that same story as advice, and it turns out as:
“Young man, never trust someone who suddenly starts hiding their phone.”
Now we have a plot. Add betrayal, drama, sex, infidelity, a suspicious WhatsApp notification and possibly a mother-in-law, and suddenly I’m no longer receiving advice, I am watching an Ekta Kapoor special inside my head. That’s the clever thing about advice. It allows us to reveal our past without admitting we’re revealing our past.
We don’t say, “This happened to me.”, we turn it around and say, “I’m telling you this for your own good.”. Yes, of course you are.
So perhaps my advice to those younger than me is actually this:
Keep your advice to yourself… unless someone asks for it.
We already have enough going on n in our lives and we don’t necessarily need someone standing beside us saying, “You know what your problem is?” We already know. We stumble, screw up and recover.
Don’t fall for that ₹9,999 three-day masterclass called “Unlock the Best Version of Yourself.” you don’t need to unlock anything.
So if you’re coming to me to dish out some advice but have your own personal life story behind it… I’d much rather have the un-edited version, please. If you are going to waste my time, at least make it interesting. I’m not even charging you for my time.
*Daily Juice*
_There’s so much glory and beauty inside you. Don’t allow your life to become obsolete and dull. God planted His seeds of greatness inside you; refuse to make little plans for your life because of present circumstances. Keep dreaming, keep stretching yourself, planning for new projects, experiences and greater adventures with God. You were never created to reach a certain level and then stop._
_Big things can only come from the small things you start. Switch your mentality; realize the role your thought is playing in your present situation. Break patterns of self defeating thoughts. The events of your past do not reduce your potentials._
_How someone has treated you or what someone has said about you does not change your ability. In your life, God may have done wonders in the past, but you haven’t seen anything yet. The best is yet to come! Your best days are not behind you, they are in front of you!_
Well said. We package our own experiences as advice. Over time I have realized I seldom give advice but even when I am relating my own experiences, I get stopped at and am asked to listen. So now I am quite quiet.
GEM, after reading this, I may start charging people ₹999 for not giving them advice. At least I would finally have a business model. 😄
You actually give a lot of advice for free, imagine if u had to charge people…you’d be a richer man than what u already are today.
I suggest u start at ₹99 and take off from there….always start small, that’s how all businesses start right?
GEM, ₹99 it is then. At this rate, I may have to start giving advice just to pay for my own advice. 😄
This charles 131 seems to be an interesting guy. Glad he is trolling you with his Godly advice, you are badly in need of his advice as per him. He titled it ‘Daily juice’. Enjoy buddy this once in a lifetime opportunity. 😀😂
He’s onto everybody, I think people are just approving of his messages coz they feel bad to delete them. His msgs make no sense, but whatever…it counts for 1, if at all…it adds to the number.
Haha, misleading count number! 🤣🤪
“Advice allows us to reveal our past without admitting we’re revealing our past” – that is a properly good observation, and now I am going to be mentally decoding every warning anyone gives me. The line about “don’t trust someone who hides their phone” clearly hiding a whole saga made me laugh. Asking for the unedited version instead is the right call; the story is always better than the moral.
This made me laugh! 😂 Advice is always more interesting when you get the real story behind it. So true!🦋✨
Yup, the un-edited version always, please 😅
Interesting
thank you :)
Freshly Pressed. Congratulations! 😊
I don’t understand, what is the meaning of being freshly pressed?
Oh my! I just checked after your message. This feels awesome! Thank you dear 😊😊
You’re welcome. After reading your post yesterday about “keeping afloat” this happening right now feels like divine timing for you; encouragement to keep writing. 😊
Yes, it does feel like a new lease of life 😊
The observation that ‘advice allows us to reveal our past without admitting we’re revealing our past’ is so brilliantly sharp! As thetravelingtaylorsofficial noted, I’m definitely going to be mentally decoding every piece of unsolicited warning from now on. Skipping the moral to give the unedited Ekta Kapoor drama instead is definitely the right call!
I thought it was people just being helpful at first…but then life makes you smart eventually 😂 thank you for your comment. Have a wonderful day.
Life experience really is the best teacher! 😄 Thanks for the chuckle ☺️
I really enjoyed reading this. There’s something simple but meaningful in the way you shared it. Thank you for the reminder and for sharing your thoughts with us. ❤️
Thank you for reading and leaving a comment too…
awesome post
You are soooooo right and may be telling the full story would also give more credit to the advice😉
As for the ocean of life coachers that seem to overgrown everywhere nowadays I believe they are the perfect example of what’s wrong with our society 🤦🏻♀️(I know a few in person)
Oh boy, did I just give an unsolicited and unfounded opinion/advice /judgement?!? Or just vent out?😂😂😂
Have a great weekend, I really liked this post🤓
I totally understand. I would like to compare life coaches to mushroom 🍄🍄🍄 some are those poisonous ones, the others are alright, but are really required to enhance a meal/life in general. They are best avoided 😂😂😂
I like the comparison🍄😂if only life had come with instructions 🙄🤣
Magic 🪄 Mushrooms 🍄 😂😂😂
Those 🪄🍄might work much better that life coachers😎🤣
Advice is the only 🔋👍
Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment.
I guess there is ‘giving advice’, and ‘sharing experience’. On the one hand it is top down, authoritative and probably has a cost. The other is peer level exchange, probably interactive and generally free. One assumes you know nothing and need telling, the other that you know enough to incorporate the useful into your processes. Four decades was waaaay back there, and I hope nowadays I’m the sharing guy. ;-)
Just be yourself. Just live. Chaos in the mind begins when we start comparing each other’s journey.
Congratulations on Freshly Press Savio !
Yes, I’ve joined you ☺️ in being pressed 😉😅
What an honor to share this moment with a fellow writer. 💜🎉
This is such a sharp take, Savio the line about advice being a way to “reveal our past without admitting we’re revealing our past” is genuinely one of the best observations I’ve read in a while. I’m definitely going to be mentally decoding every “just a friendly warning” from now on. And honestly, I’d rather hear the messy real story too the moral never lands as well without the context that earned it. Loved this. 😄
🥂 Cheers 🥂 to the un-edited stories, just make sure we have enough to keep us munching n hydrated…what say, Khadija?
We need to take onboard any advice offered by anyone, younger or older than ourselves. What we do with it is our choice. Not all advice works for each individual.
Incoming is free, we’re smart enough to know what to make use of what we’ve heard…
Touché 🤘🏼
My teenage son says he will not pay to have someone listen to his problems who doesn’t even care. Do I truly believe that? No. I feel that sometimes a therapist can really help because they have the skills and training to help us through difficult situations. But I truly agree with you that a person’s life story can resonate with someone and help someone who has been struggling with the same thing. Sometimes we don’t need someone to give us all the answers. Sometimes just knowing that someone else has walked a similar road can make us feel less alone. That is really what my blog is about—sharing my personal stories and experiences. I don’t have all the answers. I’m simply telling my story, and if someone sees a little bit of their own life in mine and it helps them along the way, then sharing it was worth it.
…in the process, if your journey can help someone – wonderful! We don’t need names or a Me Too movement to start on WordPress either… just stories that may help us along the way. That said, I firmly stand against Life Coaches, I believe they are scammers in the name of helping people. Psychiatrists and therapists are licensed professionals who know what they are doing, certainly not these fly-by-night Coaches. Thank you for sharing your viewpoint. Much appreciated.
I completely agree. Sometimes hearing someone else’s story and realizing we’re not alone can make a difference. We may not have all the answers, but we can certainly learn from each other.
💯
thank you Wayne :)
One would think the version of myself that got locked up is probably guilty of something.
Words of wisdom !
Thank you for saying that, i try sometimes 😉
That time frame thing to transform our lives sounds rush and impossible, considering we are so flawed.🤭
Wonderful and congratulations!