A simple recording from 22 years ago, takes me to the breast of the only other woman I have loved. Mother.
What’s one thing you own that holds deep sentimental value?
My dear mum, bless her, passed away in December of 2004, she’d had a hard life living at the beck and call of an evil presence, that being the man known as my father.
One day around Christmas a year or two prior to her passing, they came around to mine and my wife’s property where we had dinner and a few drinks. I had at this point been brought a small dictaphone tape recorder, one of those little portable recorders that were all the rage around the late 90s early 2000s.
Sitting in my living room, and slightly influenced by her choice of tipple, mum started singing to a tune on the radio, that song was “Smoke gets in your eyes” by the group – The Platters. The record button was pushed on that little dictaphone, and there is the one thing that I own that holds the most sentimental value to me.
If ever I am low, feeling out of sorts, in need of some nostalgic revival, in go a couple of new batteries and my mums beautiful, comforting “Slightly tipsy” vocal range comes floating back to me. She was happy, relaxed, and very much loved, and in that one fleeting moment I can hear my mum, with not a care in the world, and that was a very rare occurrence due to the imposing, controlling and angry man that always accompanied her.
I suppose one good sentiment always has to have a bad one to counteract it. Even in death that man is a controlling, cowardly individual.
I had an incident last week where a car was hit by a train. There is good stress and toxic stress. Guess which one is the hardest to handle?
How do you manage stress?
There is good stress and toxic stress. This post will try to get across my point on how a recent incident created a different level of stress, it was good stress.
As I have stated in the past, my job is to keep people off of the train tracks and to keep trains on them. Quite a simplistic view, the official job title is a little grander but I’ll just keep it simple in this case. One day last week I was working nights, when early in the shift I get a radio call stating that there had been a train versus car incident at a road crossing in the region. Stress levels in this incident hit 100% in a micro second as you just don’t know what you are about to witness. I’m a good 20 minutes away and all of a sudden my phones, my radio and emails are now going into meltdown as I am now being supplied with a flood of information as well as the world and his wife trying to make contact with me. I’m not allowed to answer calls whilst driving, it’s against company policy, and if I was to answer a call my Job would be in jeopardy, even more stress has now taken a perch on my already burdened shoulder’s. A quick call, whilst in a lay-by with the engine off, I confirm my ETA to the emergency services and inform them I cannot answer further calls until I am on site, I confirm that an emergency block of all lines has been implemented and that they can access the area, cautiously.
What greeted me on site
Arriving on site, I’m met with a scene of numerous flashing emergency lights and emergency workers moving all over the place and as soon as I’m out of the door I have a queue of people waiting for a piece of me, I can’t see the car, the fire officer tells me it is a quarter of a mile down the line, I ask the welfare of the driver and am told she has gotten out ok and is sitting just to the side of me. A collective sigh of relief is given that no one has lost their life. This lady I’m sure, is very aware of just how lucky she has been this evening.
My first calls are to the signaller ensuring I have a full official block of all lines to ensure the rescue effort can begin, when this is in place, the work can really begin in earnest.
Now I go back to the subject of this post, how do you handle stress? Stress takes many forms, there is that stress that we just let build up inside of us, sometimes overwhelming you to such an extent that you do not want to even leave the house, this is toxic stress, it’s probably the hardest to understand just because we don’t know how it has built to this extent in the first place. The other stress is the immediate stress that comes when an incident is put upon you that requires your total attention. Now I have been trained throughout my career to deal with this sort of incident and I like to think I can handle it considerably well, just reading the feedback from last weeks incident that I have received confirms that for me.
However the first example of stress, the toxic one, that I have highlighted above, I have had no training with and I suffer with that immensely, as do many other people in this big old world. How do I handle that? To be honest I don’t handle it very well, I struggle to be honest, it gets to me, it incapacitates me at times and it’s where my hobbies can sometimes help, but not always.
I have always believed in the old adage of work to live, not live to work and have always tried to separate my work life from my home life. I have been very successful with that however, I sometimes have to resort to the way I handle inherited stress as above, into the way I handle the overwhelming every day toxic stresses of life. Therefore there is some bleed of my work life coming into my private life, I’m aware of it, and it’s probably just me resorting to a way of handling stress that I’m more familiar with and that I know truly works.
I’m in my 60’s now, I think I handle the poisonous stress better than I did, but it is still there and it is always a bane to me. I’ve tried many ways and techniques of eradicating it, but though some methods show short time gains, they only last a short time and the old black dog creeps back into my life again and the age old need to chase it away starts all over again. I am very fortunate that I have a loving wife and family who know when I am in a bad place, they are sometimes all I need to chase the stress demons away, and for that I am very lucky. I know not everyone has that support and I am so appreciative of it.
Back to the incident.
Allegedly the lady was listening to her Sat Nav that told her to take a sharp right that unfortunately took her straight onto the train lines. No sooner had she realised her mistake and put that car into reverse she had noticed that the barriers had lowered and that a train was approaching her at speed. She was able to exit the car to safety just as an empty stone freight train weighing in at 500 tons hit her car and took it a quarter of a mile down the track in emergency braking mode.
The train, with just a few scrapesThe car was not as fortunate
The outcome was good. No one was injured apart from some serious shock I’d guess, and we were able to get the lines back open for services in the early hours of the following morning. It took a big team of personnel, a lot of stress to get completed but it was what I call good stress.
If only toxic stress was as easy to eradicate.
I wish you all well, stay safe. And don’t follow Sat Nav instructions religiously.
What’s a country that’s at the top of your bucket list?
There isn’t now.
As I saunter everyday, further into an old age I realise that I am now quite content with what I have seen in my life. I have visited every country I have ever wanted to visit, and even a few that I wish I’d never even bothered to visit, however they will remain in my mind as a silent reminder that not all travel decisions are particularly good ones.
It feels very unsafe travelling now, well it does to me. I’m not a particularly good traveller and I like a journey to be swift, peaceful and hassle free. However fellow travellers sometimes go out of their way to ensure that this is not always the case.
Everywhere seems to be taken over by the insta-maniacs, those individuals or couples posing and pouting and pretending to be what they will never really aspire to be, it’s annoying and they have no real intention to fit in and enjoy a foreign culture and its ways. It’s all for false likes and a need to be loved and adored.
That’s not the true meaning for visitation of a foreign country. In my view anyway.
A country I have recently visited is now being invested in by two of the most “feared or disliked” countries on the planet – allegedly. The locals feel uncomfortable with this, and personally you can feel the tension building, and that is sad as they are a peaceful, caring and generally happy people.
And this takes me back to saying I now feel unsafe to travel, friendly countries unfortunately become soft targets, and that is what scares me. Good people get taken advantage of and that is not fair or ethical.
No, my bucket list has been achieved, and apart from maybe, going abroad on my yearly vacation, I will be keeping my feet firmly on the ground in the UK.
And even that has become an unsafe environment to be in.
This holiday has not disappointed in supplying natural phenomenon to photograph. Mother nature has pulled out all the stops this year.
This holiday has not failed to produce the goods. I’ve taken some stunning photos this year and mother nature keeps supplying the photo opportunities. Another night of heavy electrical activity out to the north of the island, supplying a superb natural firework display.
Having a wonderful time out here in Cyprus, we’ve seen some stunning weather events and exceptionally beautiful full moon. This island continues to deliver and impress.
I write for me. For my family. It’s a journal. But feel free to dive in…
How do you write what people actually want to read?
I don’t really worry about what others want to read. I write what I want, if others choose to read what I write then it’s a bonus, but an altogether rare event.
I’ve always written as a journal for my self, that has always been the case. Those who have knowledge of why I write, will realise that every thing here is an extension of the journal I used to write whilst going through hard times. I opened up my journal to my family and this is the platform I chose for them to be able to check in on me. So whilst being respectful and appreciative to those who do pop in and read my ramblings, it was never meant to be that way and as stated was just a way for my family to keep tabs on my wellbeing, and in that respect it has worked very well.
And with my repairs, it is an ongoing work of reference for me as well.
So those pesky “bulk” likers who like about 20 different posts in 30 seconds, just for the hell of it would never know just what this whole set up is about, and to be honest they can just go and take a running jump as they would never really understand.
But like i stated at the beginning, I write for me, my family and that is about it. Anyone else who tags along is most welcome, and appreciated. But at the end of the day this is about me, and I’m pretty basic and boring at the best of times. You are looking into a wellbeing journal, expect some harsh truths, opinions and ramblings. That’s about the cruxt of it all.
It doesn’t have to be complicated. it serves a purpose. It is not a fanzine.
Just ordered beans on toast in Cyprus, a big soup bowl full of beans turned up with two pieces of toast in a rack. How quaint and it was gorgeous. Just wasn’t expecting so many beans.
Beans on toast
Have warned my fellow holiday makers that it’s going to be a windy day today.
And before anyone goes on about being a typical Brit abroad wanting some British food..stop right there! I love the traditional food, only last night it was Octopus 🐙 and traditional Cypriot cuisine as it has been most days. This morning I wanted something lighter as I have eaten like a pig the last few days…so there!
That’s it, we’ve left the county for a while. Time for some well earned R&R
Over Aurach in the Austrian Alps – Tyrol
Over Sipovo, Bosnia – you can’t see me but I can assure you I’m in the window just above the “i” on the logoIn Cyprus, tea for the ladies and a local beverage for me.
We will never be rich financially. But we are wealthy beyond belief in other ways.
How does your mindset affect your financial success?
Says it all
Me and the wife will never be financially “rich”. We both enjoy spending what we have worked bloody hard for over the last 40 years or so, and we kind of enjoy the fruits of our labour.
If we get money we spend it, we love treating others. I just wish others could see the joy that gives to us.
Whilst the wider family berate us for giving items away to charities, when we could have made some money through one dodgy selling platform or another, they don’t quite understand the pleasure we get in helping some other less fortunate soul out.
I think the difference is that we’ve been there. So down on our luck that we didn’t know where the next meal was coming from. We were so good at disguising our situation that no one really knew just how bad things were.
But, about 30 years ago we turned a corner. Luck came in the guise of a job that I worked my butt off to get, and from that time on we have never looked back.
We are not well off, don’t misunderstand me. However we are comfortable, we have experienced extreme lows and come through it all. That’s why I’m happy to give stuff away, if it helps someone up a challenging step in their life, then that is fine by me.
As I said at the beginning, we may never be rich financially, but for the wife and i, we are rich beyond belief in love, appreciation, and experience. And if we can pass it on, and give someone else that step up then so be it. The jobs a good un.
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